


paint an elephant

by dami_an



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Eventual Romance, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26428516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dami_an/pseuds/dami_an
Summary: Silence. For a long moment, Kageyama is quiet. Too quiet that the silence feels unnerving. Shouyou swallows thickly, his heart thumping harder in his chest. His mark aches too, but this feels worse.Like he shouldn't have said that. Like he shouldn't have Oikawa Tooru as his soulmate. Like he shouldn't have this mark, uttered by Oikawa Tooru.in which tooru is shouyou's soulmate, and yet shouyou isn't tooru's soulmate
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my main pairing is atsuhina, but eh, hinata is shippable
> 
> no beta. we die like men

'Chibi-chan.'

Emblazoned in turquoise, curled by swirling leaves. It's beautiful. Mesmerizing, even, despite the word. Sometimes, Shouyou finds solace in it when the world feels too overwhelming.

The soulmate mark on his left rib, just beneath his heart. A special place, just as precious as his heart. As though it signifies the bond between two fated people.

It's disgustingly poetic that Shouyou's heart flutters at the thought of it.

Kageyama asks about it, once, in the clubroom, two weeks after the club registration, when he catches sight of it, "Has it been linked?"

"Nope. Yours?" Shouyou tugs down his shirt. Closes the locker door. Ready for the club activity. Tanaka-san is screaming 'Faster!' outside the clubroom.

"Not yet." Kageyama palms over his right shoulder, where his soulmate mark is placed. Shouyou saw it once, in fleeting seconds when Kageyama shrugged off his uniform. It's a single word, with floating feathers. Are they white, tinged with blue at the tip—Shouyou isn't sure.

"Ever wondered who they are?"

"Sometimes."

"Excited to meet them?"

"Not really."

It brings Shouyou's head around. Perplexed. This is new, not looking forward to meeting the fated one. He blinks at Kageyama. "Why?"

Pouting lips and a deep scowl, huh, as Kageyama stares at his locker door, hard. He tends to do that when he's in deep thoughts. Brooding thoughts, to be exact, like the ones inflicted by his old teammates. In the distance, Shouyou can hear Suga-san's laughter, followed by Daichi-san's whine.

"Do I have to like the person just because they say my word?"

Uh oh. That's one thought Shouyou’s never entertained before.

…

The practice game against Aoba Johsai happens.

It's his first game in a whole functioning team, so of course Shouyou is brimming with anxiety. The possibility of getting replaced constantly hovers over his neck like a guillotine, waiting to chop down at his first mistake, and no, Shouyou can't have that.

No, no, no. Never. He just found a team to play with.

…and he pukes on Tanaka-san's pants on the bus. And to make it worse, he nails the ball into the back of Kageyama's head during the game. Shouyou's sure the lady luck never smiles on him.

But he's got the best team. Daichi-san's solid receives pick up his slack, and Tanaka-san's speech brings realization to him that yes, he indeed has a team now. No more playing alone. No more carrying everything on his shoulders. Just play as best as he can, and that's—

A privilege he never knew he has till now. 

So they bag the second set. This feeling is pretty awesome, Shouyou discovers.

Then, there he is—the setter Kageyama respects and despises so much; Oikawa Tooru. Strutting into the gym, with a broad smile, basked in the loud cheers from his fangirls. Even then, Shouyou can sense something dangerous from him. The envious glare from Kageyama speaks volume of his skill, too.

Yet, Oikawa Tooru comes in as a pinch server. Shocking, really. Only to have everything fallen into a complete piece when he gets a service ace off of Tsukishima. Like a bullet, slicing through the air, sharply, horrifyingly. The impact is strong enough to get it ricocheted to the safety railing upstairs.

Wow, no wonder Kageyama looks up to him like he hung the moon and stars. 

Well, okay. Shouyou can do this. With his team, he can beat the Grand King—

"—Chibi-chan over there—"

His heart stops. His world stops. Even the cheering around the gym mutes. The squeaking shoes, the dribbling ball. Quiet. As if his entire world is focused on that word alone even though there are more following.

'Chibi-chan.'

His word. His mark. His soulmate mark—

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Oh wow. This—Shouyou can't describe this feeling. This epiphany. He watched enough dramas and movies with Natsu, though, that the fated encounter feels like firework and waterfall. Exciting and yet, relieving at the same time, as the bond latches onto one to another, linking together like the red string, and it's wonderful and amazing—

It should be wonderful and amazing.

Should have been.

Because Shouyou feels nothing at the moment. No butterflies in his gut. No warmth in his chest. Nothing. But the mark aches. So, so bad. And it doesn’t make sense. The smirk on his soulmate's face doesn't make any sense.

His soulmate should be feeling this too. His soulmate should've been affected by this, or something. Or a slight twist on his face. Or wide-eyed. Or _something._ Not that smirk.

The second, nasty serve comes again. Shouyou barely has time to watch Tsukishima fail yet again to connect the ball. The frustration on Tsukishima's face snaps Shouyou back to the game.

Okay, focus. He can dwell on that later. He has a game to win.

…

They win the match, much to Shouyou's delight.

(But, okay, he needs to work more on his basics because receiving with the chest was very embarrassing and painful. They got lucky, after all, that the starting setter didn't play a full match, or Karasuno would've found themselves getting wiped on the floor like a ragged cloth.

Painful truth, but truth, nonetheless.)

On his way going back home, he swings by the store, with Kageyama, for some meatbuns. They taste good after a satisfying match. Taste better after a victory.

And yet, it leaves a strange taste on his tongue when Shouyou bites into the warm bun. Like something's missing. Something significant even if Shouyou doesn't know what it is. One thing he knows; it takes the appetite away from him. 

A flick on his forehead snaps Shouyou out of his stupor. Back to the present, to the store. Kageyama’s frown greets him, and Shouyou just realizes that he’s been staring into space. Shouyou rubs his forehead, pouting. "What."

"You been staring."

"Yea, sorry."

"Why?"

Shouyou looks away. It's getting dark out, with pinks and purples dominating the horizon. The clouds are marching westwards. The birds are returning to their nests. He should be heading home or his mom will get worried. Shouyou steps out of the store and mounts his bike, with the meatbun between his teeth.

"Hey," Kageyama says.

Shouyou finishes his meatbun. Mulls over this. Feels the slight ache just beneath his heart. His aching mark. And recalls the emptiness he experienced when his word was uttered.

"My word," Shouyou says, "He said my word."

"Oh." Kageyama's eyes widen. That's funny, Shouyou thinks, after all the glares during the match. Comical. Too surprised, it takes Kageyama a minute or two to get past the surprise and finally ask, "Who."

'Chibi-chan.'

That tone, that voice, even the smirk—Shouyou remembers them all. He looks down at his bike pedals. The chain is getting rusty. It needs to be oiled soon. He ponders if he still has the oil stashed somewhere in the store. His mom probably knows.

"Oi." Kageyama seems annoyed by the lack of response.

Shouyou lifts his eyes. And says, "The Grand King."

Silence. For a long moment, Kageyama is quiet. Too quiet that the silence feels unnerving. Shouyou swallows thickly, his heart thumping harder in his chest. His mark aches too, but this feels worse.

Like he shouldn't have said that. Like he shouldn't have Oikawa Tooru as his soulmate. Like he shouldn't have this mark, uttered by Oikawa Tooru.

"…Impossible," Kageyama says at last, and damn, this feels much worst. Shouyou's gut clenches, so tight he feels like puking. Even the anxiety before his first game isn't comparable to this.

"What you mean." His voice is so small when he breathes this. Scared.

"Oikawa-san," Kageyama grimaces, and for the first time, Shouyou sees pity written on Kageyama's face. Shouyou doesn't get this—the apologetic look on his face. It makes him worry. Anxious. Kageyama's next word is like a ticking bomb, ready to explode at the first trigger word. His heart thunders so loud, it rings in Shouyou's ears.

"Kageyama."

Kageyama opens his mouth. Closes it shut. Clenches his fists on his side and bites his bottom lip. "Oikawa-san is a Markless."

Oh.


	2. Chapter 2

For the longest time, Shouyou always thinks the universe has the best plan for him. That every phase in his life, be it positive or negative, happens for a reason. Like he stumbled upon the tv program where the Little Giant was featured in. Or his parents' divorce. Or being Bakageyama’s teammate.

But this—

This.

His soulmate, Markless. Oikawa Tooru is a Markless; no mark, no soulmate.

Shouyou can't wrap his mind around this. Why would the universe assign Oikawa Tooru for him when he was never meant for Oikawa Tooru? What's the purpose of the mark, then—decoration, or an empty word?

Too absorbed in his thoughts, Shouyou barely registers the distance he’s taken from school to home. Everything goes into a memorial trance. Only his mom’s concerned voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Shouyou blinks at her.

Ah, home. Right.

"Shouyou?"

Worry steals over his mother’s beautiful face. A fine lady, she is; long, ginger hair frames her small body. Fair skin and bright eyes, with those slight wrinkles at the corner of her eyes. Still in her uniform—ah, she probably just got back.

"I'm home. Dinner?" Shouyou toes off his shoes, grinning. Even from the front door, he can hear Natsu's cheerful voice from the bathroom.

"Something happened at school?" she asks. Ever the sharp one. Mother instincts, most likely. Shouyou grimaces.

Yes, soulmate happened. No, it didn't link properly because apparently, Oikawa Tooru is a Markless. Just like his parents—no, Shouyou doesn't say this. He doesn't say this because the truth about the divorce hurts. He doesn't say this because he knows the wound in his mother's chest is still too tender.

Instead, he says, "I puked on my senpai's pants?" with a wince.

His mother blinks. "Oh my."

…

Cats are therapeutic, some people say. The presence of cats, their purring and their soft and warm fur deliver both psychological and physical benefits for owners. Cats relieve stress, and even a short moment spent playing with a cat has a calming effect. This Shouyou learns, on the Internet.

That's why perhaps the universe decides to take pity on him that it brings Kozume Kenma, Nekoma's setter, into his life.

Kenma, Shouyou learns, is indifferent to soulmates. Yes, he has a soulmate—Kuroo Tetsurou, the guy with bed hair, and yet he treats his soulmate no different from a good friend. No romance in the air. No brief touches. No sneaking glances, either.

It's strange. He doesn't get it. How can a pair of soulmates be living like that? How about the bond? This ache? Curious, Shouyou asks Kenma after their practice game ends, "How do you do that?"

Kenma tilts the mop to the side. "What."

"That. With, uhm, your soulmate." Shouyou sneaks a glance at Nekoma’s captain on the court, who’s trying to whack their hot-headed ace around the head. City boys are scary, urgh.

"Kuroo?"

"Yeah."

"What about him?"

"I mean, he's your soulmate." Shouyou absently wraps the cloth around his hand, distracted. "But you two seem to—"

"Ah." Kenma moves his gaze to his soulmate across the court. Watches him with gleaming eyes. Like a cat. Then he says, "We aren't like that."

"What you mean."

"Kuroo and I—we're soulmates. He said my word, and I said his. But that's all to it."

More confusion. Shouyou can't process even a word coming from Kenma, and it's not because he doesn't excel in studies. This has nothing to do with his IQ. He just doesn't understand how their relationship works. "How."

"Platonic soulmates," Kenma says, "Kuroo is my soulmate because he's precious to me. But kissing him is out of the question. That’s just gross."

"How about the bond? The ache? Don't you feel them too?" Shouyou frowns because hey, he feels this ache, even if it's quite dull. Not like the one they show on movies; agonizing pain that the character doubles over from it. More like strands of the bond searching for something to hold, but find nothing.

Can't find Oikawa Tooru.

Doesn't make it hurt less, anyway.

"I do feel the ache when Kuroo isn't feeling good." Kenma palms over the jut of his right hip when he speaks of this. "Doesn't mean I have to kiss him to make him feel better. Sometimes a simple game with him is enough to cheer him up."

That's one way to look at it. Shouyou's starting to get the gist of how Kenma views soulmates, but still—

This.

"What if your soulmate finds another precious person?"

Kenma stares at him, with those gleaming eyes. Then turns to his soulmate. The grip around the mop handle tightens. Then he smiles that small smile. "I don't plan to chain him down, anyway, so he can leave anytime he wants. But if he ever needs me, I'll be there for him."

Oh, Shouyou realizes as he takes in Kenma’s gaze, soft around the edges, with that rare smile and the tips of his bleached hair glowing in the soft evening light, yeah, that's soulmate.

…

He wonders if Oikawa Tooru has ever made that look.

…

Maybe the universe is really playing a cosmic joke on him since he has no chance at all to cross paths with Oikawa Tooru. InterHigh prelims are just around the corner. Karasuno finally completes again, with Noya-san and Asahi-san's presences as the libero and ace respectively.

Just like Tanaka-san, Noya-san doesn't put much stock in soulmates as they're too busy pining over Shimizu-san. Or perhaps they just don't care, too lovestruck to care, even though Shouyou knows their marks are hidden somewhere on their person.

Spiking, jumping, even their secret signals, Shouyou practices them all. Before he knows it, days fly by, and he wakes up to prelims awaiting him.

Various teams from different schools throng the tournament gym. Some are well-known, some participate just because. Shouyou stays close with his team, eyes down on his bag on the floor, heart thundering loudly in his chest. He tries scanning around, too, in hope to see light jackets, with turquoise stripes.

The one that writes Aoba Johsai—

None to be found, though. Shouyou ignores that little pang of disappointment in his chest.

"Stop thinking about him," a voice says, followed by a strong grip on his head.

Ah, Bakageyama. Shouyou shoots him a scowl over his shoulder, demanding to be released. "I'm not."

Release Kageyama does. "It's all over your face, stupid."

"Is it?!" Shouyou half shouts, surprised. He claps his cheeks, in a vain attempt to wipe the pathetic look off. He's pretty sure it doesn't work like that, but hey, it doesn't hurt to try, right.

Tsukishima, catching this, smirks, "Oho, trying to shake off the nervousness? Have you tried to take a dump? Might work on you."

Shouyou whirls around. "Hey, that's not—"

"Enough. Warm-up time." Daichi-san grabs his shoulder. He barks a command to get the team going.

Tsukishima's cackles trail behind as he walks up the corridor, Yamaguchi hot on his heels. Shouyou bares his teeth at Tsukishima's retreating figure, annoyed. Then feels a hand on his shoulder. Shouyou looks up.

Kageyama raises his brow, a bag slung over his shoulder, ready for the warm-up. "Just keep winning until we face him."

Oho, Shouyou thinks. That's a brilliant idea.

…no, he's not going to tell Bakageyama this. Ever.


End file.
